Q: I recently bought a home with my husband. We lived in an apartment before this. We have a new baby, and this is our first home with a back door and a yard. We are ecstatic. I invited one of my oldest friends over to view the house. She lives in a big townhome in downtown Vancouver, with her husband and three children. Her first reaction to seeing my house was too state: “It’s so cute!” Isn’t that another way of calling it small? It felt like a slap in the face. Is there any etiquette about what you should or shouldn’t say when visiting a friend’s home for the first time?
— Feeling disrespected, Burnaby, B.C.
A: Congratulations on the purchase of your home and your new baby! It is so exciting to be starting a new family and building your home together.
Although the words you friend chose may have caused you to be upset, don’t let it take away from the joy you feel as you make this journey into a new phase of your life.
Phrases like “It’s so cute!” or “It’s so eccentric!” can mean many different things to different people and sometimes they can come across wrong or not as intended. To me “It’s so cute!” is a term of endearment meaning a room or home is warm, welcoming and feels loved.
Now, the most important consideration when visiting a friend’s home for the first time is to be respectful. Focus on the positive: point out a few things the you love/like about the home and then share in the excitement and joy for your friend’s new adventure. There are bound to be features, accents or special touches that you can point out.
If, when visiting your friend’s new place, there is something you don’t appreciate then keep it to yourself. We all pursue different homes and dreams in life. I always say that I’m really happy that I have my little corner of the world to call home and I wish that for everyone.
That said, Feeling Disrespected, I wish you all the best in your new home and in the joy of watching your baby grow and take big strides in your new home and your own backyard.
Monika Furtado is an award winning Calgary residential Realtor with Re/Max Realty Professionals serving the Calgary marketplace providing exceptional personal service and real estate advice.
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