Having witnessed it with my own eyes I know that often the abused doesn’t even know they’re being taken advantage of. Their love and sense of responsibility blind them to the fact that their child, grandchild or partner is a manipulating miscreant.

What exactly is financial abuse? It’s the illegal or unauthorized use of someone else’s money or property. It includes whining and bullying to get someone to hand over money or other valuables. Sometimes it’s fraud. Sometimes it’s theft. It includes tricking the people who love you into “saving” you, or pressuring elders who have always felt responsible to give away or “lend” you money. The elderly end up going without, living a meager and pathetic life as they “help” the ones who should know and do better.

You’re probably too smart, too strong, too savvy to get caught in such an emotional and financial mess as you get older. But what about your mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather or great-aunt? Is there some member of your family that’s bleeding them dry? Would you even know so that you could step in to help?

If you think a family member may be taking advantage of someone you love, don’t let the thought of the mess and the fight that will ensue stop you from stepping in.

Here’s what to watch for:

• Unexplained changes in bank accounts
• Unauthorized ATM withdrawals
• New joint accounts
• Suggested changes to wills or other financial documents
• A drop in cash flow or a change in financial holdings
• Suspicious signatures on cheques or other documents
• Credit charges that seem inappropriate
• Jewelry or other valuables that seem to be missing
• People living with the elder without contributing in any way

And here’s what to do:

Contact the Advocacy Centre for the Elderly for guidance. They have online resources, experts and publications that will help you figure out how to address the issue.

If the situation is serious enough and involves theft or fraud, call the cops. Many, like the Toronto Police offer help. Be prepared however for some push back since very often elder abuse isn’t seen as a crime but as a “family dispute.”

As a last resort, get in touch with the Office of the Public Guardian and Trustee. Know that they are underfunded but will do their level best if they deem the situation to be serious.

I’m one of those people who wake up every year on January 1^st with buyer’s remorse. Do you have any tips to help me manage my holiday spending?

Answer

’Tis the season to be shopping. And while gift giving is an important part of the holiday tradition for many people, it can also lead to big money problems when the credit card bills come due. You want to bask in the glow of your holiday celebrations, not hide under the covers stressing out about how you’re going to pay for it all.

The extended Sellery family—30 members strong—has tried many different approaches to gift giving over the years, from a $5 spending limit to no gifts period. The evolution was partly driven by money. But the bigger influence on the decision was simplicity. We just didn’t want to spend all that time at the mall beforehand and then six hours around the tree on the day of.

Here are some dos and don’ts to help you keep the merry without spending all the money.

Do: Reset expectations with family and friends

Holiday spending gets out of control when expectations rise too high and the shopping list becomes too long. Now is the time to talk with your family and friends about how you all want Christmas to go. This is the basic conversation starter: “Hey, I’d like to talk about how we do gifts this year…” You can suggest some of your own ideas on how to shorten the gift list and/or lower the cost per present. For example:

• Limit gift giving to the kids/grandkids only, instead of everyone around the tree
• Pool gift money to purchase an experience or game for everyone, or contribute to a charity
• Pick names out of a hat so everyone buys and receives one gift
• Set a spending limit

Some people will be amenable to changes, perhaps feeling a similar need to rein things in. Others will want to hold on to specific traditions. The dynamic can be particularly tough to manage in extended families where history and financial circumstances differ. It can be an emotional minefield, but holiday spending is still worth talking about.

Do: Set a total budget for holiday spending

I often get asked: “How much should I budget for the holidays?” I never have a good answer because it isn’t something that you can benchmark. Every family is different in terms of their income, debt and gift giving traditions.

Here is my advice: When you’re setting a budget for holiday spending it matters less what the amount is and more that you stick to it. That way you’ll be conscious of what you are spending, instead of shoving things into your cart the way you shove popcorn into your mouth during reruns of Law & Order.

This budget should be as inclusive as possible: Gifts of course, food and liquor if you’re entertaining, gas if you’ll be driving to visit far-flung family members, tickets to holiday shows, and an amount to cover that new outfit you absolutely have to have for the big holiday party.

Let’s say your number is $2,000. Assuming you don’t have that money in your bank account, figure out how long it will it take for you to pay it off, based on your disposable income. Once you have your budget set you can look at your gift list and see what you can spend on each person—including taxes.

It can be very hard to muster the willpower to constrain your spending when you’re in the store so you might try leaving your credit cards at home and only taking cash with you. It will be totally annoying, but it will help, I promise. Oh, and watch out for the ‘one for you, one for me’ phenomenon. Unless you’ve put yourself on your gift-giving list, don’t add a sweater for you, even if it is on sale.

Don’t: Get drawn in by store credit cards

The first time all it took was a free pen. The second store won my heart with the promise of a free watch. Then the third offered a 10% discount on the mound of product I’d just placed on the counter. In a flash I had three store credit cards, and three inquiries on my credit, which was a hit to my credit score. And if I held a balance on any of those cards I would have paid the highest interest rates out there. Add to that the fact that I was spending more than I would have otherwise.

Those are three big strikes against store credit cards: the hit to your credit score, the super high interest rates they charge and the higher spending they often prompt. Retailers make money from their store credit cards—that is why they push them so hard.

Don’t: Limit yourself to what you’ve done in the past

One final tip: Don’t limit yourself to what you’ve done in the past. The holidays are a great time to be creative. Bake cookies, package experiences in gift certificate form, or give the gift of your time. Celebrate the holidays in a way that doesn’t leave you with a debt you’ll be dealing with until next December.

My wife and I are expecting our first child in a few months. We currently have a combined income of about $150,000, but we are not sure how we are going to manage financially while she is on maternity leave. By our calculations she will not receive the maximum EI benefits when she’s on leave. We are carrying $19,000 in credit card debt and have been putting $1,300 every two weeks towards it, but that is not going to be an option once the baby arrives. I wonder if I should use the $24,000 I have saved in RRSPs to get rid of this debt. By wiping out our credit card debt we’d free up about $400 from our monthly expenses. Is this a smart idea?

Answer

This is a terrible idea. Terrible.

I like that you’re thinking outside of the box and working on getting your financial house in order before your baby arrives. But selling your RRSPs to pay down credit card debt is not the way to do it, for two main reasons: Math and discipline.

Cashing in RRSPs will trigger a big tax bill

I understand your thinking. You have a big credit card debt in one hand and more than enough money to eliminate it in the other hand. Except for one problem. That money is sitting in an RRSP and if you cash it out you will trigger a big tax bill. Basically, the government will say that you have earned that $24,000 as income and will tax you on it, just as if you got a juicy bonus at work.

For simplicity, let’s say your marginal tax rate is 40%. That means you’ll pay $9,600 when you file your income taxes, leaving you with just $14,400 to go towards the credit card debt. Put another way, you’ll incur a huge tax hit and you still won’t have enough money to pay off the debt.

Compound interest turns pennies into gold

I know it is going to be tough to leave the money inside your RRSP, but don’t think of it as just $24,000, think of it as $194,000. Because that is what it will be worth if you leave it in there and let compound interest turn those pennies into gold at 6% for the next 35 years.

Sure, your credit card debt is costing you more in interest than you are earning on your RRSP investments—probably 25% versus 6%. But the compound interest calculation underscores the importance of letting your retirement savings grow and finding another way to eliminate the bathtub full of credit card debt you’re dragging along with you.

Having a baby isn’t an emergency

I can understand why some people have no other choice other than to cash out their RRSP. They are dealing with some sort of health or family emergency and this is their last resort. A new investment opportunity is not an emergency and neither is having a baby. Your plan doesn’t make mathematical sense and it undermines the discipline of saving for your retirement.

You make good money as a family and while these next two years are going to be lean financially, you will be able to get back on track much faster than someone who earns less. While it is stressful, take the long view. Stay disciplined and protect your retirement savings.

Now that you’ve heard my sermon on protecting your RRSP, here are two actions I suggest you take to help you improve your situation.

Try to find another lender

I get a little nauseous thinking of you paying 25% interest on your $19,000 credit card debt, so I can imagine how upsetting that must be for you every month. Try to find another lender that will change you a lower interest rate and consider finding a new low-rate card. Even if you have already tried to do this, try again.

Take your pregnant wife with you to the bank. Your combined household income is very good and banks have some latitude to make exceptions. Ask them what your options are? Do you qualify for a loan for even part of the total amount? Can you use your home to secure a line of credit? Is there a family member you could ask to co-sign a loan at the bank? Could that family member lend you the money directly?

Exercise restraint on baby spending

I know you’ll probably roll your eyes with this one, but I recommend you exercise restraint on baby spending. Sure, it can be really expensive. But for the most part, it doesn’t have to be, especially in the first year. You will not need $400 a month for baby expenses.

As the father of a three-year-old I have been subjected to the intense marketing and societal guilt that is focused on new parents. You and your wife may want lots of things for your baby in its first year, but there is very little that you actually need: A crib, a car seat, some onesies and diapers. Most of this stuff can come from the local thrift shop, online sites like Kijiji, or friends and family.

Build up cash reserves now

Even if you can’t get a line of credit or a low-interest credit card from another lender, you still have options. First, the good news is you have a time before the baby is born. If you’re really worried about meeting your debt obligations then consider making only the minimum payment on your credit card debt, starting now.

While it will cost you more in interest, this will ensure you will be able to cover the minimum payments on your credit card for almost a year. While this may sound counterintuitive, it will give you the breathing room that you need. It will allow you to build up a cash cushion to help you to avoid taking on any additional debt and give you time to see how your costs add up. You may even find you’ll be able to increase your debt repayment sooner than you expect.

I would also look at what else you could cut from your spending now: Cable, cell phones, movies, eating out, etc. As you will soon discover, you can’t build up your reserves on sleep, but you can build up your reserves on cash.

Enjoy the ride.

Karen Collacutt, a CFP with Money Coaches Canada, says most families have to make some major sacrifices to live off a single income. “It’s a tradeoff,” she says. “You get the freedom to have a parent at home, but you’re trading off the income potential.” Her single-income clients have had to cut back on travel, postpone renovations, forego gym memberships, and more. It’s the lifestyle stuff that gets cut first, she says.

While the family model where one parent stays home seems dated and out of reach today, it wasn’t that long ago when it was the norm. The rise of duel income families only picked up steam in the mid-70s as more women decided to give up the notion of being a stay-at-home parent. According to Statistics Canada, the percentage of women 15 years of age and over who participate in the workforce jumped from 45.7% in 1976 to 61.8% in 2005.

Don Macfarlane, a CFP based in Thornhill, Ont, says living off one income was much easier to do 30 years ago. When his wife decided to stay home in the 1970s they had to give up a second car and vacations. It also meant staying in their current home while Macfarlane’s peers upgraded. He believes it would be even tougher now to make ends meet on one salary today.

Of course, it’s one thing to cut vacations and renovations; it’s another to sacrifice savings. For the seven years that Macfarlane’s family lived off one income, he didn’t contribute a dime to his RRSP. “You can’t save for that period of time,” he says. “There’s always something that comes up, so the RRSP gets pushed down quite low on the list.”

If you’re prepared to live a one-income lifestyle, then the first thing you need to do is come up with a plan. A lot of people end up scrambling and accumulating debt, says Collacutt. What you need to do is count every dollar you spend and figure out how much money is coming in versus going out. Then take away one income and start cutting, she says. “The initial work is about crunching numbers.”

Once you decide which expenses to reduce, she suggests trying to live off one income while still bringing in two. Not only will that give you a chance to see if you can survive on a single salary, but you’ll have built up a cash cushion in case something happens down the road.

Collacutt also recommends paying off any credit card or line of credit debt before reducing the household revenues. “If you’re servicing debt it’ll be way hard to get down to one income,” she says. “Many people are spending a good chunk of their family’s (two) incomes on debt.”

Smart tax planning is also important. Families should always look for ways to drop the income earner into a lower tax bracket. One credit people in this situation should claim is the spousal tax credit, says Doug Carroll, vice-president of tax and estate planning at Invesco. The tax credit reduces the income of the working spouse by about $1,700, he says.

For more long-term planning, consider saving in a spousal RRSP and then withdrawing from it if money gets tight. The higher income earner would contribute to the account and get the tax break from the government. Two years later the stay-at-home spouse can withdraw that money and pay little to no tax.

While working off one income is doable, the more money you make the easier it is. Collacutt says living off one salary will be a challenge for a family that brings in less than $80,000 a year. It’s also harder if the income that’s getting cut is substantial. “It’s not about what income you have left, it’s about what you lose,” she says. It’s also more difficult to do if you live in an expensive city like Toronto or Vancouver.

While some families can make it work and stick to it, Collacutt says a lot of people find it too difficult and have to return to a dual-income home.

Still, despite missing out on seven years of savings and a larger house, Macfarlane says he’d do it all over again. The feedback Collacutt’s received from her clients echos that sentiment. “Most people say it’s the right choice and they’re happy about it,” she says. “They’re willing to make sacrifices and also shift their mindset around what’s key, like being with family. Spending money on outside activities becomes a lot less important.”

A friend of mine recently told me of a cousin who has magazines climbing all the walls in her small apartment. Another told me her sister keeps all her used tooth floss hanging it from door nobs. Still another just discovered that her lovey has no running water in her home. “You’d never know it just looking at her,” she said, “but her home has been without the basics for quite some time.” Some people are so embarrassed by their hoarding they won’t let anyone into their homes. Repairs go unmade. Firetraps lay in wait for the tiniest spark.

What most people don’t realize is that hoarding is an epidemic among the elderly. From storing plastic shopping bags to saving all their newspapers and magazines, their homes become cluttered making it difficult for them to navigate. Thousands of glass jars, tins and plastic containers perch precariously. With little to do, some turn to shopping, hoarding their acquisitions often still in their original packaging.

There are all kinds of reasons people hoard, from fear of losing something they may need later, to the need to protect their personal information, to trying to fill an emotional hole. If you have a loved one who is a hoarder, don’t turn a blind eye. And don’t think a hasty intervention—backing a dumpster up to the back door—will resolve the underlying issues.

You need to deal with your loved one face-to-face, gently letting her tell you why she keeps everything little thing under the sun. Treat him with dignity. Show that you respect the meaning and attachment she has for her stuff. Stay calm, caring and supportive. Point out the safety issues and be ready to monitor (you’ll need a team for this) as you slowly reorganize and remove the clutter. Expect the changes to be gradual. Ask him or her for ideas on how to reduce the risk. And let them know that you’re going to have to involve others in the situation if you can’t resolve it together. That might include the authorities like public health and doctors.

The legal system is ill equipped to deal with issues like these and many doctors still don’t understand the phenomenon. While obsessive-compulsive disorder is often associated with hoarding, medication doesn’t resolve the issue, so don’t look for an easy drug-related answer. If you truly love Grams or Gramps (and you don’t want their house to burn to the ground in an accidental fire), you’ll gather family and friends to step in and help your lovey come to terms with this issue.

My parents are in their 80s and have an investment portfolio of about $1.4 million. They have been with the same adviser at a major bank for decades and say she is like family. They have segregated funds, mutual funds, annuities, GICs and some individual stocks, but I reviewed the MERs they pay and know they are high. (My parents had no idea that there were fees on mutual funds, they thought they only paid commissions.) I finally got my dad to understand that their portfolio may not be working for them and I think they are becoming open to the idea of moving at least some of their money. What are some of the next steps that I should suggest to my parents?

Answer

I am one of six kids. Add parents, spouses and kids into the mix and our annual “Sellerybration” event grows to 25 people, and sometimes more. I love my family, but I don’t need a financial adviser to make it complete. While I think it is great that your parents have a close connection with theirs, the relationship needs to be first and foremost about their investments, not family ties. You’ve flagged a number signs of dysfunction on that front and now it’s time to do something about it.

Move your parents to a fee-based structure

Your parents are coveted clients in the investment world. Their asset level puts them in the high net worth category—which means they can get great service and investments for under 1.75% or $24,500 per year at the low end. That includes any fees they would pay on ETFs and F-class mutual funds. They are currently paying much more than that—about $34,000 if the average MER on their portfolio is 2.4%.

Using a fee-only adviser is not just about lowering costs. The point is that a fee-only adviser has fewer conflicts of interest and has no incentive to sell inappropriate products like seg funds. You should be paying for good advice and service, not products.

These numbers are very basic estimates, but the point is that your parents should at the very least move to a fee-based relationship. Their current adviser may be able to operate in this fashion, or they may need to find someone else. But I can’t see how anyone could justify keeping them in high MER mutual funds given their asset level.

Get a second opinion from another adviser

You have flagged fees as an important issue for your parents. But I would still recommend that you find another adviser to provide them with a second opinion. I wrote a blog on how to find a financial adviser and I recommend they start by setting up a conversation with a fee-based adviser who can provide a fresh eye on their circumstances. He or she will be able to compare fees as well as look at the make-up of the portfolio itself—what is in it (Do they need segregated funds? Really? Why?), and how much of each do they have (Does the asset allocation make sense given their investment objectives?)

I’m focusing my comments on the fee issue, but I bet the conversation with another financial adviser will include topics like estate planning and investment objectives. It seems unlikely that your parents will spend this $1.4 million sum in their lifetime, so what legacy do they want to leave and what portfolio mix will deliver it?

Reconnect with the current adviser

I am going to give your parents’ adviser the benefit of the doubt and say that she just got lazy with them, and didn’t illustrate the benefits of moving to a fee-based structure. Once you have the second opinion in hand, I would meet with the current adviser and let her know that you are considering making a change. I would definitely give her the opportunity to demonstrate the value that she believes she can provide that would have your parents stay put.

It is crucial that you be at this meeting to support your parents in having what could be a tough conversation, and to ensure that the financial adviser doesn’t try to come between you and your parents.

Give “status quo” the advantage

In my opinion, your parents basically have two options: move to a fee-based arrangement either with their current adviser, or with a new one. I wouldn’t recommend a hybrid strategy to your parents by moving only a portion of their money to someone else. As with your family physician, you want one person who has the complete picture and can provide continuity. It is simpler to have one person who is accountable for providing them financial advice.

I would give the status quo the advantage here. Your parents have a long history with their current adviser and it will be a lot of work to make the transition to a new one. That being said, this relationship is critical to their financial health and you all have to feel confident that whomever they choose is going to do a great job.

If your parents do decide to move on here are some tips on how to break up with a financial adviser. It won’t be easy, and they risk harming the relationship with their current adviser. But if she really is like family, she’ll get over it soon enough.

And yet, year after year, countless Canadians will load up the minivan and point the nose down the highway because the family road trip can also be magical, engendering lifelong memories in children and adults alike. Here, then, are a few tips to maximize the magic and minimize the mayhem.

Put safety first. The one thing you don’t want with a back seat full of cranky, impatient kids is to have car trouble on a back road somewhere. For that reason Korey Kennedy, manager of public and government affairs with the North and East Ontario chapter of the Canadian Automobile Association (CAA), says vacationers should always get their vehicles serviced before they set off on a multi-day trip. “Get the brake lines and fluids checked. Ensure the spare tire is inflated and the jack is working properly. Make sure the tires have good treads and are properly inflated to get better mileage.”

Vehicles, he adds, should be equipped with a road safety kit including jumper cables, a blanket, non-perishable foods and a first-aid kit. “Make sure you have a charged cell phone with you at all times, in case you run into mechanical problems and have to call for assistance.” If you have a roadside assistance membership, make sure it’s up-to-date, and that you have the phone number and membership card with you.

Plan your route. Don’t just rely on a GPS when you’re travelling to an unfamiliar destination. Do a little research and plan your route before you hit the open road. “A GPS will get you where you’re going, but won’t be able to find the most interesting route,” says Kennedy, who advises travellers to take advantage of CAA’s customized TripTik maps and online travel planners, which not only show scenic routes and highways but up-to-date information on construction zones, gas stations and recommended restaurants, motels and campgrounds.

Ann Campbell, a travel writer from British Columbia, says she and her husband are always looking for ways to get off the highway and onto alternate routes during her family’s road trips—the extra effort always pays off. “Do your homework in advance,” she advises. “Provincial and state websites usually have suggestions for scenic routes, as do old-style guidebooks.” As for the risk of getting lost, “that’s part of the fun,” Campbell says. “In a way, a road trip is all about getting lost, losing yourself in new experiences before having to return to your day-to-day life.”

Send them packing. Calgary-based travel writer Joanne Elves says packing is all about figuring out what you’ll need to get at frequently and fast, without any fuss. “I make sure there’s an easily accessible bag with T-shirts and shorts for each kid, and a separate laundry hamper full of shoes. I also put a basket between the seats where all the toys and games can be thrown into for a quick, 10-second tidy up. Oh, and that diaper bag? That’s up top, not buried.”

Campbell suggests that parents should make sure kids have all their activities close at hand. “We use back-of-seat holders for books, pens, papers and games, and make sure each kid has a solid surface—like one of those portable beanbag desks—they can put on their laps for colouring or doing puzzles.”

Kennedy says vacationers should ensure windows and sightlines aren’t blocked by luggage, and notes that packing as lightly as possible will result in lower fuel costs. Drivers shouldn’t, however, have to worry that a full load of kids and luggage will alter the handling characteristics of their vehicles. “Unless you have an extreme amount of weight, packing shouldn’t affect braking or handling.”

Get an early start. The early bird gets an extra three hours of hassle-free driving, Elves says. “The best idea my husband and I ever came up with was to pack everything the night before, get up at five in the morning and carry the kids to the car in their pyjamas. They’d sleep through the first three hours of the trip and when they’d wake up at eight or so we’d stop for breakfast and get them changed into their travel clothes. Do you have any idea how precious three hours of peaceful driving is?”

If your tykes are going to be awake at the start of the drive, make sure they’re not too awake. “Get them to let off some steam before they get in the car,” advises Toronto-based travel writer Jennifer Merrick. “An hour of vigorous playing or swimming will ensure they’re a little calmer when you buckle them in.”

Of course, all that pre-drive exercise eventually wears off. “Parents have to be realistic about how much sitting the kids can handle,” says Elves. “When the bickering starts, it’s time to get out and stretch. Find a park or a hiking trail so they can burn off some energy.”

Keep ‘em separated. If bickering is all you have to put up with, count yourself lucky. Especially if you have two or more boys in the back seat, you can count on a certain amount of hitting, kicking, yelling and screaming. Back in the day, that’s when Dad would twist around in his seat—while driving, no less—and try to swat anyone or anything within arm’s length.

Not surprisingly, CAA’s Kennedy says that’s a definite no-no. “The spouse riding shotgun should be the disciplinarian, leaving the driver to focus on the road. Distracted driving is a major cause of accidents.”

But what can you do to prevent fraternal frustrations from boiling over in the first place? As the song says, keep ’em separated. “We have neighbours who’ve gone so far as to build a physical divider down the back seat,” says Campbell. “When they tried crossing into the U.S. the customs agent was very interested. He wanted to learn how they did it so he could build one himself.”

As for her own family, Campbell makes do with a small cooler plunked in the middle of the back seat, with one kid on either side. “It’s easy access to cold drinks and it enforces a degree of separation.”

Keep a stash of new stuff. “The most important thing is ensuring there are enough toys and activities to keep the kids occupied,” says Campbell. “Our strategy was every 30 minutes we’d have something new for the kids, whether it was colouring books, stickers, games, or snacks. If we knew we had five hours of driving, we’d have 10 different things.”

That strategy works well for Elves, too. “I’d collect a bunch of toys from McDonald’s or buy them at the dollar store, and wrap them up in newspaper. Then I’d give them out every hour or so. They knew that if they behaved for another hour they’d get another toy.”

“Get something special for the ride back,” Merrick adds. “You tend to prepare well for the ride out, but the ride back is even more important. Hold something special in reserve or buy a couple of new toys before turning for home.”

Use a digital babysitter. Regardless of how parents feel about television and video games at home, most vacationers wouldn’t dream of undertaking a multi-day road trip without stocking up on a carload of DVDs and computer games. “DVDs are great for keeping kids amused,” acknowledges Kennedy, “as long as the driver isn’t watching them.”

“Our deal was we only allowed the kids to play video games in transit,” says Campbell. “So they would actually look forward to long road trips because that was when they were allowed to play with their GameBoys or my smartphone.”

Stock up on eats. “We try to bring at least the first day’s food in a cooler,” says Elves. “After that we’ll pull into a Safeway and make our own sandwiches or buy ready-made sandwiches from the grocery store. It’s way cheaper than buying them from Tim Hortons.” They used the same strategy for coffee. “We’ll bring the first day’s coffee in a thermos and we’ll try to stay at places with coffee makers in the room so we can fill the thermos each morning before we hit the road.” When they do eat at restaurants along the route, one parent will get a table and order while the other plays with the kids outside, again burning off excess energy for the afternoon drive.

“We’ll pack a collapsible cooler and go to the market and pick things up,” says Merrick. “We’ll grab a chicken and bread and make sandwiches for at least one meal a day, instead of fast food. And if we do go to Subway and get a sandwich, we’ll take it and eat it in a park, to try to make it more special.”

“We always brought a Coleman stove so we could have lunches at roadside rest areas,” Campbell says. “That way the kids could run around, and it’s cost-effective.”

Learn the inns and outs. The CAA rates hotels, motels and campgrounds, and many of these offer discounts to members. Other than that, Campbell suggests staying at family-friendly motels that offer perks like free popcorn or pizza, and where the rooms have pull-out couches or cots.

Breakfasts that are included in the room rate are a must, says Elves. “They can save you a lot of money for a family of four, to say nothing of the time saved by not having to stop for breakfast on the road.”

Merrick cautions, however, against always trying to find the absolute cheapest accommodations. “Remember that once the kids are asleep you won’t be going anywhere, so sometimes it makes sense to pay a little more for a nicer room or a balcony where you can sit out and watch the stars.”

There you have it. The sun’s shining, school’s letting out for the summer and another family road trip looms. Will it be magic or mayhem? To a certain extent, that’s up to you.