I’m pleased to announce that technology has conquered parallel parking. What it hasn’t yet solved is envy.

I recently had the chance to drive a fully equipped Lexus LS 460, a gorgeous luxury sedan that’s attracted lots of media attention because it can park itself. Using the system is easy. You pull up to an empty parking space then refer to a dashboard monitor to see if you’re properly positioned to back in or parallel park. Once the monitor says you’re good to go, you control the brake and the car does the rest, sliding you neatly into the parking slot.

With lots of wriggle room, parallel parking can take less than 10 seconds. But things get trickier in traffic. The problem? People who aren’t Knight Rider wannabes can lose patience when a luxury car driver appears to be stopping cars to watch TV. “Hey, sunshine,” yelled one guy in a pick-up. “You don’t get to be an ass just because you pay a hundred grand for a car.”

True — and while the self-parking technology is a great conversation piece, I reluctantly concluded that only people who are truly parking-challenged would find the gadget to be worth its cost in both dollars and abuse.

I feel the same skepticism toward a lot of other gee-whiz gadgets that are popping up on luxury vehicles. Night vision, for instance, uses various forms of infrared technology to sense what’s beyond the reach of your headlights and display it on a dashboard monitor. It makes you feel like James Bond. But after I recently tested a $2,500 Night View Assist option on a Mercedes S-Class, I came away less than overwhelmed. The system worked exactly as advertised, delivering a crisp black-and-white view of everything ahead for about 150 metres. Problem is, the system itself is distracting. And when I turned, the steering wheel blocked my view of the monitor that was supposed to help me see what’s on the road.

Run-flat tires can also leave consumers feeling — you knew this was coming, didn’t you? — deflated. These tires, which are offered as standard equipment or options by automakers ranging from BMW to Toyota, allow you to drive a limited distance on a flat (so long as you don’t go more than 90 km an hour). But run flats are also known as run hards. The Internet is full of complaints from unhappy customers who found the ride and handling of their vehicles suffered as result of installing run flats. Consumers also complain that run flats don’t last. That makes cost an issue, especially since a set of four of these high-tech tires can set you back more than $1,000.

So is there any form of automotive technology out there that does excite me? Believe it or not, yes. Here are four.

Look Ma, no hands

Numerous automakers now offer options that let you use a cell phone without taking your hands off the steering wheel. DaimlerChrysler’s UConnect Hands-free Communication System, for example, provides wireless communication between compatible mobile phones and the vehicle’s voice command system. You can place calls, receive calls and manage your phone book while watching where you are headed. As a stand-alone option, it is available for about $300 on Chrysler and Dodge vehicles.

Talk to me

In-car navigation systems, even ones that offer audio directions, are distracting. It’s simply impossible to ignore a bright navigation monitor with a moving blip. Many navigation systems also won’t let you program a destination while on the go. Much better is a new directions service from the OnStar system available on most 2008 GM models.

With OnStar’s Turn-By-Turn Navigation system, you never have to stop and your eyes can stay on the road. You simply hit a button, which connects you via a voice link to an adviser. State your destination and the adviser downloads directions to an onboard computer that prompts you with voice commands pumped through the stereo. If you take a pit stop, OnStar will wait until you’re ready to resume. If you get lost, the car’s GPS system updates the directions and OnStar gets you back on track. You get all this free for the first year, then $438 a year after that. The fee includes other services, ranging from emergency and theft assistance to email-based vehicle diagnostic reports and the ability to call the system if you’ve left your keys inside the vehicle and have it unlock your door.

Worry-free cruising

Prices vary, but most luxury brands (ranging from Cadillac and BMW to Lexus and Jaguar) now offer smart cruise control technology, which can reduce your chances of smacking into the car ahead by as much as 75%. Simply put, radar is used in conjunction with the throttle, transmission and brakes to keep you a safe distance behind the car you’re following.

Crash-test genius

Advanced cruise control systems can be upgraded to include what’s known as collision mitigation technology. For example, my Mercedes S-Class came with $3,200 worth of additional radar as part of an option called Distronic Plus. That enables the car to sense when a collision is imminent and issue audio warnings while it adjusts safety belts, windows and seating to prepare for a crash. If you don’t react, the car will deploy 40% of the brake force to limit impact. At the moment, it won’t go beyond that point perhaps because of legal issues regarding liability. But the new 2008 Lexus LS 600hl, a hybrid due out this fall, will monitor you with cameras to see if you are watching the road, then slam on the brakes if you’re not paying attention and are going to hit something. Now that’s technology that can save your life.