How to avoid holiday spending regret

Choose presence over presents this season

The desire to give gifts during the holiday season runs deep for many. “The biggest factors that drive this desire are our own thoughts and emotions,” said Michelle Johnston, a registered psychologist at Take Care Therapy Co. Family traditions and assumptions about how others will perceive us based on the gifts we give are also essential motivating factors in determining the opulence of material items or experiences we purchase for others, she added.

Instead, Johnston encourages individuals to make “more mindful and values-aligned choices” during the holiday season. In lieu of a physical present, she recommends giving the gift of time: craft something handmade, enjoy a budget-friendly holiday outing, or find another meaningful way to be together. 

Holiday debt can take a mental toll

The burden of overspending goes beyond your wallet; it can also affect your mental health.

“When we feel pressure to give extravagant gifts, we may end up engaging in behaviors like spending beyond our means, increasing credit card debt, or pulling money away from other important financial goals like saving and investing,” said Johnston. “This can result in increased stress, guilt, shame, or disappointment after the holidays are over and we are forced to face the consequences of our spending behavior.”

Technology has only further reinforced the temptation to spend. “We walk around every day with luxury items in our pockets (our phones) and they are programmed to constantly remind us of all the different ways we can spend money—so there’s a ton of money pressure hovering around at all times,” said Kathleen Daunt, a financial planner with the New School of Finance. “It’s important to pause and give your brain enough time to really consider the emotional return on investment rather than just jumping to purchase immediately.”

Roger Wardell, a financial adviser with Edward Jones, reminds clients that “a one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work.” Instead, he advises them to create a personalized plan that supports long-term goals while also factoring in short-term priorities, such as holiday spending. You need to “drill down and decide how much you can spend that will leave you in good shape in the new year,” he added.

Automate savings for stress-free holiday spending

All three experts agree that automated deposits can help prepare for guilt-free spending, whether that be for travel, food, or festive periods.

“By breaking the total amount we might spend into smaller monthly contributions, it can make saving for the holidays feel a lot more manageable rather than putting a large sum of money towards gifts all at once,” said Johnston. “If you can set it up so that deposits happen automatically when you get paid, you might be less likely to spend that money because it has already been allocated somewhere else.”

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Moreover, being intentional with gift-giving is key to controlling expenses. “If you’re shopping for five people and you want to spend no more than $100 on each, your magic number is $500,” said Daunt. “At the beginning of the year, set automated savings each payday to ensure you’ll have the $500 you need for gifts by year end. Even if it’s too late this year, you can put this in place for next year and feel good that you’ve put this plan in place for the future.”

Daunt adds that you should remove payment information from online shops on your phone to help prevent impulse buying. Also, pause before each purchase and ask if the joy is worth the price.

Progress, not perfection, guides intentional spending

Remember that learning how to spend with intention is an iterative process. “Sometimes even with our best intentions, things might not go according to plan,” said Johnston. “If you do end up spending more than expected, try not to beat yourself up. Instead, give yourself some grace and treat it as information or an opportunity to learn about your patterns and make different choices next time.” 

Daunt echoes this belief, arguing that even when the best laid plans are not seen through, there is always hope. “Even if it’s too late this year, you can put this in place for next year and feel good that you’ve put this plan in place for the future,” she said. 

Once the holiday season passes, look at where new opportunities could lie. “If you can save a little bit from your holiday budget, when the new year rolls around, you can take care of your future self by making a contribution to a tax-free investment account,” said Wardell. 

This year, rewrite your holiday story. Give with intention, set spending boundaries, and start the new year feeling in control. Your future self will thank you. 

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